My life is so sucky right now...

Gosh,

It seems everyone in my life (or used to be in my life), are leaving me. They are either retiring, leaving Washington, or leaving my school. I hate this lonely feeling! I mean, I haven't been at school much because I don't feel comfortable there like I used to in the beginning. I mean, ever since that whole situation with S and Kirk, I don't feel like school is an outlet from home life like it used to be. I mean, I wasn't able to just leave my problems at home on my bed or anything, but I was able to forget them for a short while and focus on what I needed to do at school. But, you know now, it's different. I mean, I've been crushing on Kirk ever since I met him lol, but now, it's different. We don't really have a connection like before. We talk, but we don't have long, stimulating conversations like we used to have. S and I, we a'ight. She apologized and everything, but I'm not her friend. I let her talk to me first then I'll say what I need to. I want her gone but it's whatever. The only friend I really have there is Danielle. She's my buddy. lol. I hate driving school now. My instructor, Ms. Cindy, got fired. GREAT. Now, who do we have now? OJ and Mr. Hassan. OJ is a mean, nasty, ogre. Ugh, I dislike him to the fullest. Mr. hassan, ok guy, but I can't understand him when he talks (he's African.)

I'm goign to quit maybe. I don't need this. i know my mom won't be happy with that, but at least I know I tried my hardest, but I can't go through with it. I give up easily and I beat myself up for it at the end all the time! But, I need to work on that. But for now, NOPE!

-A.P.

Day and Night...

Man, I cannot sleep. It's 1:38 AM and I can't sleep. My sleeping schedule is waayy off!

I'm sick, I'm angry..I'm delusional. So many thoughts are going through my head and I can't seem to shake them. I don't feel comfortable in my bed. My heartbeat is beating rapidly. My chest aches. My head hurts. My whole body is hot. My eyes want to shut. But..NOOOO! I don't want this week to end. I don't want to go back to school in 4 more days. Ugh. But I have too. I can't let that sh*t with that girl affect me and my studies. I just don't know how I will function without Ms. Stokes. Oh well...

-A.P.