Old stuff coming up...same mess with S....

HUH?? What do you mean A?

I mean this...I'm starting this new medication they put me on for anxiety, a stimulant. I have to take it everyday. It's supposed to help with not only anxiety but to help me focus as well. I have no tolerance for medication, but I gave in and decided to try this one. First of all, I HATE medication!! I truly, truly do. It's not for me. I know it's suppose to help with pain and etc..make ya feel better, but It's not for me. I've been having panic attacks since I've been taking this medication. I started on a Monday. Panic attack. Tuesday. @ school, panic attack. TODAY? PANIC ATTACK!! 8 OR 9 panic attacks TODAY!! UGH F***ing NO MORE!! Nope! I don't even care man, just let me act out when I start to feel like someone is invading my personal space or noise is just scaring my heart out of my chest! Nope. I don't like feeling like this, matter of fact, who freaking does??

Anyways, beside that, S is on the SAME s*** from last week. "She still not talking to you?" Nope, and I don't care. "You ain't going to confront her?" Nope, It's not that deep to me. "You ain't going to make up?" Not anytime soon, at least not in her book. "You ain't going to kiss her a** and be reasonable?" HELL NAW! I'm ALWAYS the reasonable one, the mature one. I've been the bigger person all my life. Why can't I be somewhat "selfish" for once in my life? Is that much to ask? Nope.

Look, I don't have a problem with S. I don't. I consider(ed) her a friend. I really did. Now, I'm just saying that...

But if she going to continue like this, I'm going to let her. I don't give a f***. Really. She can play the silent treatment and shit. Ignore me. Give me dirty looks. Talk mess behind my back. I DON'T GIVE A F***!!

But, let her get in my face and act a fool...TRUST ME....

She WILL get embarrassed..REALLY.

A.P.