So fucking STUPID.

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

Man, was I in the clouds?

How can I take care of myself...in a dysfunctional household? I can't ignore that fact. I can't escape that.

How can one minute I'm happy, fine...
Next, mom comes home...with this man. A man who needs a MOTHER more than a WOMAN on his arm, doing his everyday duties, telling him what to do, etc.

Who understands?

I'm SOOOO happy @ school. I really am. Yeah, there are days when I don't want to be there, what's that point? But for the most part, I'm excellent, exceeding in academics and other things.

But...

When I come home, I fucking depressed, putting myself down, got other people putting myself down. Making me feel worthless.
Fucking tearing up my prized possessions (did i spell that right?)
WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO?!

I want to just rip my hair out and cry.

-A.P.

Don't say Nuthin.

Been a while. I know.


Mom has been putting up with a lot of this man's shit. I don't see why that happens, letting his shit slide. If it were me, if i were older...it'll be a WHOLE different story with me. That negro will be GONE!

I just keep quiet now. I don't say nuthin. It's pointless now. Really.

Just a little bit ago, she comes in my room...."you think I'm weak?"

Are you freaking serious?! Are you asking me this question right now?!

*sighs*

I just said...
"yes."

After that, she just kept asking me questions....and i gave her short-worded answers. "Yes." "No." 'I don't give a f@#$." "So?"

Ah, yes......that's how it is now.

I'm going to go cry.

Bye. -A.P.