Cousin, are we bonding?!

It seems to me so.

I have 4 cousins: all older.
More "advanced".

Bernie Mac words: "now I KNOW them, but I don't know them."


Same here.
I know my cousins, but I don't want to be a part of their circle. All of us are different in our own way.

I tend to be the "old soul".
Meaning I don't believe in sex before marriage, I don't party like it's 1999, drink and get high....get the munchies.

I love my cousins, but...not their lifestyles and the people they hang out with.

We get along and we talk...to a extent.
Because we don't have much in common.

They like Lil Wayne.
I like Mos Def.

They like Trey Songz.
I like Luther Vandross.

See? Very different.

So...when one of my cousins called me up, I was really surprised.
Not that she called, but that we actually had a conversation that lasted longer than 2 minutes!

Our conversations are usually akward and has a lot to do with peer pressure. Lol.

But this one...was different. It was a deep conversation.

She wanted to talk about our dysfunctional family.
"Ok. Shoot."

"I feel like none of my family members love me. They don't say it or show it."

"Ok...(long pause).

I couldn't debate with her. I couldn't try to persuade her in any way about how she felt. It was true.
I actually felt the same way she felt.

'Cause see...

There is only 12 family members in the Phair family. (That we know of lol.)

And seeing the SAME people OVER AND OVER AND OVER again....sh!t, It's sickening.

We don't have proper, nice family holidays. It usually involves fights and cops.
We hold gruges towards one another...It could be from the past, and we still hold on.

We don't tell one another, "I love you" or even EXPRESS our love (ex. hug)
That's very rare for us. It's always shocking when it happens too.

So, I totally got where she was coming from.
"I want my family to tell me they love me."
Heck, I do too.

"I want to be able to count on someone to have my back when I'm in need."
Me too.

"This family is dyscfunctional."
Heck yeah!

After all of that, I say;
"You got me...."

"I'll call you back."

*hangs up*

"Love ya."

-A.P.